By now many are you are familiar with Elliot Rodger, the virgin who sought ‘retribution’ on women for not sleeping with him. If you aren’t familiar with him here is a video he posted detailing his reasoning for seeking retribution.
You know when I was growing up I was pretty awkward. I was (still am) a big ole nerd! So like Elliot here, I didn’t get much attention from the ladies. And the few times, ‘fucking’ was even an option I completely fucked up. I’m still kicking myself for one particular instance, but that is a story for another day… Not once in all that time of dragging my dick through an affection-less desert, did I consider murdering people an option.
Pictured: What not getting fucked looked like in 2004
People have been decisively split on this one. A lot of people sided with Elliot on this one! Blaming the women for causing this massacre. Others just said he was probably a psycho. When was just being plain old crazy, no longer considerable as an option? And a lot of people just blamed society at large. Well as a society I think must of us can agree, that not getting laid isn’t the absolute worst thing in the world.
In this post I’m going to prevent similar but differing sexless scenarios. I want to keep the discussion limited to situations ‘perceived’ horrible, because a lack of sex is a major overarching problem.
The absolute worst is a sexless marriage. You think being a virgin is bad, because you’ve never had sex. Trying knowing the pleasure of sex, only to be locked into a life long sexual relationship with a person who denies you sex. That is absolute torture! At least when you are just a virgin you can spend time with yourself. You don’t have to deal with other people’s bullshit in addition to not getting laid. But when you are married you are fucked, just not literally in this scenario. You have to hang around with the asshole that agreed to fuck you, but now won’t… You are angry at them for not fucking you. And they are mad at you for constantly badgering them about it.
"It's a beautiful coat darling! Look when are we gonna fuck gurl? I'm trying to put my banana in your split baby!"
So you two are just angrily existing together in absolute agony. And if you have kids it’s even worse because now you have to deal with those little bastards too! Shit, if I’m not going to be fucked, at least let me sit around drinking beer in my underwear, playing video games in peace. AT LEAST do me that one solid!
If not, I might just murder someone. Think about that again. Think about how many sexless marriages there are world wide. Very few people kill their spouse for making them sexless. And in those situations the spouse is technically the only sexing option. Again when you are a virgin you also aren’t getting fucked, just by a much larger group of people. At least there are still other options remaining. Who probably won’t fuck you either…. Come on dude you’re fucking ugly.
…and quit smiling! The fuck do you have to smile for?
You angst ridden virgins go somewhere and masturbate. You could probably start masturbating right now! Go ahead.
What’s that!? Worried someone might barge in, causing you to feel shameful/awkward? Don’t be, you are probably alone right now.
A second ‘bad’ sexless scenario, is being in a relationship with someone who for whatever reason won’t grind ya down. Perhaps they are waiting for marriage, or physically sick and unable. Who knows, maybe they are uncomfortable being naked. This one is similar to the sexless marriage scenario, but in this one you can leave this non-fucker at anytime. You just haven’t for some reason. Maybe you feel you can’t do any better. Maybe you luvv them! Or you could be an idiot.
But you could, in theory, leave this bastard anytime. Now just isn’t a good time, I know…
But again tons of people world wide are currently in this exact scenario and they are either wising up and moving on, or just waiting to see what happens tomorrow. Either way they aren’t murdering this person or anyone else. I mean you don’t have to murder you’re boyfriend to move on. You could just key up his car and break a bunch of stuff.
So again, if you are lamenting yourself for being a sexless lonesome virgin… DON’T. Your options are WIDE open.
And you don’t even have to stop being creepy to (eventually) get laid.
Look at me! I look like Mexican Beetlejuice, and people still let me fuck them!
And then I totally don’t! Because I’m that bastard who makes things sexless!