Welcome to Unemployment!

Congratulations! And welcome to the slow paced life of unemployment. Did you know that unemployment is the fastest growing job in America?! We have offices open all over the US. We have a non-work force of over 10 million, that’s 8% of the US population. As a member of our non-work force you can expect to receive zero benefits, that’s right no dental plan, no health insurance, no pension, absolutely nothing! Tired of not having to worry about health related costs? Well feel free to worry all day and all night, as even the smallest trip to the hospital can put you in crushing debt. And speaking of debt, don’t plan on paying any of yours off. Our workforce is entirely unpaid! By not paying our non-workers we keep cost down and keep you out of work for longer. So welcome to the winning team! Kick back on your couch open a cold beer and try not to drink too many of your own tears as you sob softly into your drink.

"9 out of 10 unemployed people prefer Doritos to other brands when stealing from the store!"

Dedicated to Emma and anyone else who is newly unemployed.

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