Recently I was out to dinner with one of my friends who is a psychiatrist, and he was talking about committing people who are clinically insane. And that’s a slippery slope right there.
How do you really know the person you are detaining is insane? What happens when you sequester the wrong person?
Well of course I know, I was falsely detained against my will, and of course it happened overseas…
It all took place one blistering hot summer evening in Japan. I was out at a nomihodai, which is an all you can drink party of pure inebriation. You can see the early parts of that night right here in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=OMcCDkpVfA4#t=75s
When I eventually woke up I was in a hospital bed surrounded by nurses. When I came too one of the nurses quickly ran away to get the doctor. He came and did an assessment of me and then decided that maybe I should be kept overnight for a psychiatric evaluation. Apparently my behavior was a bit odd. I’m sure if you drank whiskey for 9 hours straight, blacked out, and then woke up still drunk in a hospital you’d probably act odd too.
My head was killing me so I didn’t really feel like doing anything really. So I just laid in my bed and enjoyed the sweet life! I had nurses at my beck and call 24/7. I’m not sure if it’s possible to have a good hangover, but this was definitely the best hangover I’d ever had. When the second day rolled around I was ready to get up and leave, it was time to go home and get some stuff done. So I hoped out of bed and leisurely started to walk to the front entrance. I had just turned the corner, and the door out was in sight! A nurse walked out of a door in front of me turned in my direction saw me and then ran to hit a button on the wall. This button sounded an alarm, and before I knew it I was being tackled by 2 male nurses and dragged back to my room.
The forced me into my bed and restrained me. At this point I realized they thought I was mentally unstable… The doctor came in a few minutes later and confirmed my beliefs. He told me I’m not stable enough to go back out and face the real world, I might “relapse”. At this point he gave me an injection and told me to be calm. Because I was struggling with the restraints the whole time trying to break free. Which in retrospect made me look insane.
What insanity apparently looks like
When I woke up later on that night, I saw that I had been moved to another room in the hospital. This time I had a roommate! And he seemed to actually be insane. He was underneath his bed looking at me through the darkness. After awhile of staring each other down, he giggled and beaconed me to come join him under his bed. Now I really freaked out! Here I was restrained to my bed in a room with a crazy man. I was completely helpless! What if he decided to cut my face off or carve something into my chest?? At this point I started screaming! In my mind I thought a nurse would hear me screaming and come and release my restraints. Of course that was silly to think…
3 nurses ran into the room tightened my restraints and then gave me another shot which knocked me out. When I came to again I saw 4 nurses and a doctor struggling with my “roommate”. He’d gotten a hold of a bed pan and he was swinging it around like a mace. As I laid there watching this I knew that I could not be restrained in a room with this man another night. It was time to get smart. Because each day I was in there with him I was losing my mind a little bit and slowly becoming insane.
That night when the hospital was quiet, I called my roommate over to me. He was both hesitant and curious. Timidly he approached my bed. When he was at my bedside I jerked my arm about and told him if I was free we could go play under his bed since he seemed to love being down there. He slowly undid my left arm. Once it was free I quickly undid the straps on my right arm and legs. Then I straight up ran barefoot out of there wearing nothing but a hospital gown. I was in a full on sprint by the time a nurse saw me, she tried to tackle me but I put out my arm which collided with her face then pushed her right down to the ground. A doctor ran to the door and put his arms out to try and catch me. I was not about to stay here another day I folded my arms up across my chest so my elbows were pointed up and outward and then leaped right into knocking him back with explosive force. Using his body as a shield as I burst through the door. I ran all the way to the nearest train station and rode home.
Running barefoot style might've slowed me down if it wasn't already my hobby!
Luckily I was in Japan so nobody batted an eye at the tall foreigner riding the train in a hospital gown with his butt completely hanging out. I got home packed up and left town. I straight up moved away, because it was only a matter of time before I was tracked down.
And this brings the tale of a falsely committed man to a close. Hopefully it will never happen to you. Because the first thing you will probably say to your captors is “I’m not crazy!!!” and that’s what crazy people say…